About The Creator
SSW (our creator's initials) is a nationally respected
public school educator, avid researcher, and public speaker
who became a low-contact parent in 2023, and an
estranged parent in 2024 without warning or conversation.
When this happened, SSW felt desperate to understand why
this was happening with her child. Before the estrangement,
there appeared to be a healthy relationship which included
texts, conversations, dinners, holidays, etc. There was absolutely
no indication that SSW was on the brink of losing her relationship
with her child.
When this happened, her research instincts kicked in and she dove headfirst into peer-reviewed journals, articles from respected magazines, blogs, books, and social media to try to understand the firestorm that is the No Contact movement that is affecting up to 35% of families with GenZennial children (age 18-40). SSW was desperate to understand the movement, how to take her own accountability, to figure out how to validate her estranged child, to find a way to make amends with someone who wouldn't talk to her, to understand the types of behaviors that estranged children are so critical of, and how to attempt to rebuild the relationship with her EC. Unfortunately, despite efforts to improve so many elements related to her relationship with her EC, the estrangement continues.
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However, she knew that all of the research she did might be of value to others. As a way to make use of her research, in conjunction with attempting to heal her own heart, she decided to transmute all of the pain and loss that came with one of the worst seasons in her life. She decided that if she was never going to ever be given a chance to reconcile and rebuild, then she would use what she learned to inform, encourage, and uplift other estranged parents who are facing feelings of being isolated, irredeemable, and unforgivable as a result of their estrangement.
Her approach is unique and refreshing. She will never align with others in this space who openly disrespect and regret the presence of their estranged children. Instead, she is committed to fully supporting the estranged parents who have been bullied and banished simply because they want to fix their relationships with the children that they love. She openly challenges the online therapists who are dangerously close to, or have clearly, crossed, ethical boundaries. She holds absolute contempt for the wannabe "trauma-informed tour guides." These are the snake-oil journal and course creators who have no credentials or credible training in psychology or behavioral health. These are the unregulated and uneducated who openly support no contact as the best option, that no contact is required to break generational curses, and have little regard for how that communication will irrevocably affect thousands of innocent grandchildren who find themselves helpless in the middle of emotionally harmful adult situations.
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She approaches the estranged children's community with empathy and an open mind to validate them and to understand their point of view/experiences. She engages with her community of estranged parents with compassion, writing words to convey understanding, and with genuine effort to show dignity and respect to those going through estrangement wherever they are on that journey. And she approaches credentialed mental health professionals with empirical inquiry, respect, and deference. The Parents in Purgatory platform is not, and will never seek to be, a contentious, accusatory, inflammatory, or uncivil source of content, brand, or community. Here, even if we agree to disagree, we hold respect for all and we only recognize credentialed, licensed mental health therapists as the fulcrum to understanding the history of therapeutic practice and the pop psychology trends that are destroying innumerable families.
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Parents In Purgatory became the name of SSW's voluminous research, and eventually became the TikTok page that, one by one, followers began co-creating a safe community for support, information, and understanding how to cope with their children's decisions, behaviors, and accusations. After answering countless DMs and being encouraged by so many estranged parents for access to the written content, devotionals, strategies for communication (Parent Declarants), and the give back to our community through quarterly EPic Days of Love.
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While you will see a lot of resources that she has either created and/or has sourced, what you will not see is her face or her full name. This is because she is a recognized educator and she is committed to keeping her professional teaching life, her students and their families, completely separate from her personal life. Being an estranged parent has absolutely no bearing on her ability to be an effective and successful educator. Therefore, by day she is positively impacting the younger generation through literacy and community. And by night and weekend, she creates content solely for educating and uplifting other estranged parents. Above all else, she chooses anonymity to protect the privacy of her estranged child, her estranged child's other family/inlaws, her friends, and professional colleagues.
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Upon the encouragement of so many parents who follow her, she will eventually use her content for a book. And in the spirit of respect and transparency, she hopes that you will support her when that book releases. In an act of faith, she already ordered pens so that she can sign the books and write personal messages to those who have been positively influenced by her work. Again, her goal is to make sure that estranged parents know that they are not alone and have access to resources that they will need to navigate this very personal painful season with countless nuances.
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If you are affected by estrangement, particularly if you are a parent, you are welcome here. You will not be judged and you will be reassured that you are not alone. As she always says, you were, and are, a good parent or you wouldn't be searching for resources, content, or answers. If you are here, then you are not the toxic and abusive narcissist that you have been painted to be. This is why it's so very important to remember to always be kind to your already wounded heart.
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SSW is open to all opportunities to communicate as long as it is civil, relevant, and appropriate. She is always open to being a guest on someone's podcast or livestream under the condition that her face is never shown for the reasons mentioned above. You may reach SSW at parentsinpurgatory@gmail.com.
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