Participate in the EPic Day of Love

Estranged parents were, and are, good parents. Despite any opinion that we are toxic, narcissists, or abusive,

we know that despite our imperfections, we are still redeemable, kind, and forgivable humans who have a lot of love to give, but with no place to give it.

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The idea behind the EPic Day of Love is that estranged parents community is standing up, no longer afraid to have our voices and our power silenced, and we lead with love, which means we intentionally give back to our communities. It is our collective way to let them our world know that we are here to love, to contribute, and that there are many neighbors with adult children who are suffering in silence. It is estimated that this silent epidemic of estrangement is affecting between 30-40% of American families, depending on where you source your information.

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The first EPic Day of Love will take place over Labor Day of 2025. Labor Day felt like the most appropriate time to kick this off since parenting is, after all, some of the hardest labor a human can do.

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Estranged parents will choose a good deed of their choice that speaks to their heart as a parent. If you need some ideas, you can look at the list below. Choose your idea and then print out/affix the EPic info that you will attach to that item. This will identify that the kind gesture is coming from a person who is choosing to lead with love despite being marginalized, misunderstood, and shunned by their children, other parents, and mental health professionals. 

 
Parents, we have a lot to give. We are valuable and kind people who can bring about positive change to our community
and to bring awareness to the fact that there is a silent place called purgatory where our hearts are currently residing.

For the estranged parents who can barely get out of bed because of your grief, shame, anxiety, and depression, we need you to try. Just make a plan to do this one small thing with us, together, and take comfort that despite feeling overwhelmed and unforgiven, you are a good and kind person who can learn to heal your heart. For the estranged parents who are still lost in understanding the pain of your estrangement, maybe angry or discouraged, let's transmute those negative feelings into being a blessing to someone else who is experiencing loss, sorrow, need, or feeling marginalized, even if it's only for five minutes. For the estranged parents who are in a better place, we need you to lead the charge, celebrate those who can barely leave their own home or who are still suffering with loss, sorrow, guilt, shame, and anger. Together we can carry this movement across the finish line.  

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Participation is completely voluntary and can take place during any time on or around the Labor Day Weekend. Here's all you have to do:

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Step One:

Pick your act of kindness. Please remember to always respect boundaries, to limit discussion about your estrangement (because we are in service to others), and to avoid all temptation to get into potentially volatile conversations (e.g., politics, religion).

Listed below are some suggestions about some things that you could do based on whether you wish to do something monetarily, or if you prefer to use your time and talents. Remember to always get permission for your participation if you are doing an act of service.

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Acts of Monetary Giving and Personal Resources

• Amazon school supplies to your local school or find a teacher's Amazon wish list on social media and send them an item.

• Find a gofundme and donate. You can search by location to help someone local, or you can search by need (e.g., child with cancer)

• Send a check to your local school to be used for children who suffer from food insufficiency, but don't qualify for free lunch

• Bring store-bought snacks (not homemade because they have policies about consuming homemade products) to your local police, fire, or EMS department

• Bring flowers to a nursing home or assisted living facility

• Overtip a server at a restaurant

• Randomly give a stranger a gift card(s) that you won't use

• Buy socks, underwear, or blankets for a homeless shelter

• Put together hygiene kits for the domestic shelter (you may need to bring to the police department for privacy reasons)

• Bring perishable foods, even one can of soup or one box of mac and cheese, to your local food pantry

• Bring handwarmers to your school transportation department for crossing guards for the winter

• Contact your local VA and speak with a social worker about what items you could donate that either the VA or veterans
  could use

• Purchase coats, sweats, or fall apparel for foster children

• Make a donation to social services ministries, like Stephen Ministries, or something comparable

• Contact your local ABA Therapy center for neurodivergent/autistic children and ask if there any supplies that they could need

• Purchase dog/cat food or treats, bring old blankets/sheets, or find a way to support your local shelter

• Call your local churches/community centers and offer to bring donuts or fruit to their next GriefShare/bereavement meeting

• Donate to your favorite charity

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Acts of Time and Talents

• Ask how you can support your local library

• Send letters of encouragement, care packages, etc. (see the resources for more info) to soldiers through www.soldiersangels.org or www.militarymissions.org. The military no longer accepts letters written to any service member. These are trusted organizations who connect well-intentioned strangers to service members ensuring privacy and protection for those who serve.

• Volunteer to foster a dog for the weekend because they don't have as much attention on the weekends

• Sign up to volunteer at a local library, health clinic, or local nonprofit event (e.g., 5K for Alzheimers)

• Knit hats or booties, or find a way to support your local pregancy crisis center

• Offer to help senior citizens learn how to use technology (e.g., iPhones) at the local senior center
• Serve at a soup kitchen or meal/food distribution center
• Reach out to senior citizens in your neighborhood and give them your contact information so that they can contact you if they need anything (e.g., errand, pick up medications, mow lawn)
• Clean out your closet and donate clean used clothes to domestic/homeless shelters
• Offer to help out someone you know who is a new mother by running an errand or being a mom's helper for a day (I would advise that you don't contact people you don't know)
• Go to your local social media and volunteer an hour(ish) of your time to help someone in need. This could include errands, lawn care, organizing, painting a room, etc.
• Write uplifiting messages of encouragement on post its and stick them on random places in heavily trafficked community areas, like lightpoles
• Participate in a charity 5K or attend a charity event
• Paint rocks with happy images/uplifting messages and place them in the community for others to discover
• Download an a donation app, like Charity Miles and make efforts to raise money through those platforms. Charity Miles is an app that tracks your walking and sends amounts to your favorite charites based on your activity. There are many of these types of apps. I just happen to use Charity Miles, but you do your research and pick one that you like.

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Step Two:

If it makes sense for what you've chosen to do, access the printout below and put it on the gift (if it's something tangible that you're actually gifting) or give it to the person who is coordinating your act of service. If that's not an option, you can simply be creative and find a way to connect our message to your act of love if you feel comfortable. You can access the printout by clicking the button below: 

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Step Three:

Fill out our form to let us know that you participated. You can even send us a picture of how you participated in EPic Day of Love to parentsinpurgatory@gmail.com. You do not have to include your face, and we will not publish faces of minor children. If we get enough participation, I will make a photo collage that we can share on social media to capture the spirit of resilience, generosity, and compassion that resides within the EP community. You were, and are, good parents with hearts full of love that's just waiting to be so very kind to others already wounded hearts.

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If we all do just one small thing, we can lead with love in the most EPic way!